All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
