no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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