we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
