Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
