I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
