Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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