Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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