It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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