you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
