How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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