I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
