What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
