Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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