it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
