He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
