well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
