he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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