Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
