awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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