She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
