The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
