I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
