I cockslap morals
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
