I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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