Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
