i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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