I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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