party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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