i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
