id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
