ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
