I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
