My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
