I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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