Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
