come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
