If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
