I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
