She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
