I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i out mim tonsoeep
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