there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
