I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
