I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
