Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
