your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
