did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
