Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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