god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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