her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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