OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
